December 23rd, the final week of 2024.
I’m standing as I write this. “Start” I’m obsessed with that word lately, that word’s been living rent-free in my head. “Finish”? Couldn’t care less about it anymore.
So earlier today, it was pouring rain. I ran 8 km to the city square and back. Guess what? Not a single soul was running. Just me, out there looking like a lunatic while everyone else stared at me like I’d lost my mind. Maybe they thought me as jobless or nuts? Probably both, and they’re not wrong. I ran anyway. Soaked clothes, drenched shoes, it didn’t matter. The storm wasn’t going to stop me.
Maybe it’s a sign that I’m completely obsessed with starting. December’s got me fired up like an anime power-up sequence.
Yesterday, I went to the anime convention. Yeah, I’ve been into otaku culture since I was a kid. The place was packed with creative people, and honestly? Hats off to those folks. They’re bold enough to embrace their hobbies, societal norms be damned. They’re out there living their best lives, doing what they love, no matter how strange it might seem. Walking around in cosplay, geeking out, fully embracing the “delusions”, that takes guts!
Anime, manga, all that stuff, it’s been a huge motivator for me too. Like, when I’m running, especially during a long run, I low-key pretend I’m an anime protagonist. And guess what? It actually works. Lol.
I LOVE these hobbies. They make my life better.
Back to my obsession: this insane urge to push myself to the edge. I crave a healthy dose of extreme in my daily life. I wanna dive in headfirst, make a drastic shift, like unlocking some hidden jutsu or going Super Saiyan or something. Two days ago, I smashed out a half marathon with a 750 m elevation gain. The protagonist energy is at an all-time high.
Lately, I’ve been fascinated by paradoxes in psychology. It’s wild. Like, imagine being a soft poet who writes cute verses but trains like a beast at the gym. Or blending into society like a regular person but turning into Batman when no one’s looking. That kind of contradiction? It feels powerful.
And here’s another revelation: people’s brains? They’re not like mine. Not in a “different life experience” way, but on a biological level. Their neurons, their chemicals, their molecular structures even at atom level: they’re not the same! Overthinking what other people think of me or assuming they see the world the same way I do? Total waste of energy.
This awareness, backed by both scientifically and psychologically, has given me a broader perspective on self-image and possibilities. Where does this take me? No clue. But right now, I’m ready! Coffee microdosing might be playing a part in that. Let’s go.