December 5, 2024. Here I am, and here’s a little secret, it’s not that important: I’m writing this naked. No deep or complicated reason, I just enjoy being naked, okay? Feels like I’ve got this whole, raw soul. Naked both metaphorically and literally. And no one’s around in my locked room, so who cares?
It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote a public diary entry. My mind’s been all over the place with external stuff, those little inconveniences always manage to steal your time. But now, I’m just living in the now, naked. Not who I was yesterday, not who I’ll be tomorrow. Just me, right now. And that’s enough.
This past month’s been a whole journey of lessons and values, especially about struggle. Getting up from rock bottom it’s not exactly an easy walk. But I’ve been running a marathon, literally. Twice, in fact: once solo on November 10th, and then the official Borobudur Marathon on December 1st! To me, these marathons are symbolic of my own seriousness and persistence.
I could sit here and give you all the details about Borobudur, but let’s keep it short. Here’s the rundown: I ran it with an awful prep, my body barely hanging on before the race even started, I caught a cold. The first half? Smooth. Easy pace, 21 kilometers in 2 hours and 30 minutes. The second half? A disaster. I was limping, fighting cramps, blisters. Why? Because I’m a genius and wore socks that were already ripped from the start. But guess what? I still finished. Not a single regret, just a big facepalm for my silly decision-making.
The marathon taught me that life, like running. Whether it’s literally or just pushing forward in life, my hope remains the same: to be someone who keeps the flame of determination, keeping the ember of passion alive.
But let’s be real: some days suck. When the mood goes on depresso double shot, and procrastination kicks in hard, even your bed becomes your nailing cross and you can’t move. That’s alright sometimes for wounded mortals, but it’s not okay to stay like that. On those days, I try to do some inner work, small things that, over time, help my psychological health and keep me from going full-on disaster mode.
I’ve been building this system for myself, like my own self-imposed therapy session. It’s not a quick fix, not some self-help gimmick, but a real system that’s been years in the making. And even though society still sees me as Mr. Nobody, I can say this: I feel stronger than I ever did. Better than the version of me I left behind.
It’s like I unlocked the cheat code for personality development. I believe in neuroplasticity, that idea that our brains can change and adapt. That change doesn’t come easy. It takes patience. It takes consistency. It’s not about instant results. The hardest part? Your surroundings.
When you feel like you’re stuck or even drain in a culture or society that’s just… didn’t click. That’s when you have to be brave enough to embrace solitude (alone, but not lonely). Adapt to the world, sure, but never let it consume you. Don’t let their culture swallow your soul and make you forget who you are or what you dream of being. It’s way harder than it sounds, but you have to do it anyway.
Training yourself to be brutally honest with your soul to the point of sadistic acceptance, while still striving to be better, is an extraordinary thing! That’s where the magic happens. It’s like, one in a thousand people actually pull it off. But I believe that anyone who refuses to give up their soul, will eventually find their purpose.
So, here’s to you: Go ahead, live this life to the fullest!